New Seaons has kicked off

And while your intrepid reporter was absent without leave, the skipper did the very tardy match reports.

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OK Swingers fans,

I know you’re all dying to hear about your favourite team’s performance and I’m pleased to report that you don’t have to wait any longer…

… although you probably wished you did, if you’d have seen the way we played last night.

Bloody terrible is the most apt way to describe it.

Our batting was like watching a butterfly catching extravaganza and the Qin Shi Huang Terracotta Army would’ve shown more agility in the field.

Dreadful.

Although there were a couple of notable moments, namely:

Fordy performing a flying headbutt in order to take out the blonde making her way from third to home. He of course let her score… though I’m not sure if it was such a successful strategy for getting her number;

Then of course there was Kieran, who almost had to change his name to Kiera, when he decided to field a ball with his crotch.

I can’t even bring myself to tell you the final score.

But it’s not all bad news….

Last week of course we kicked off the season with a fantastic win over Y&R, the reigning champions with whom we have a bitter rivalry.

It goes back to several seasons ago where we met them in the quarter finals and where they decided to field a team of ex-major league baseball players. We of course acquitted ourselves with aplomb, but were cruelly robbed by 1 run… Long story short, I got on the blower to the League chairman and vociferously pointed out that Y&R had contravened clause 15.4.1 of the LASL rule book by fielding more than the allowed compliment of ringers and that they should’ve been disqualified. They weren’t and a re-match ensued where we were subsequently unceremoniously creamed.

So we met with our bitter foes last Thursday on a cold windy evening. Our team of old stalwarts and young up-and-coming talent. Their team of… well whoever they were.

And it wasn’t a narrow victory, it was a complete and utter demolition! Their outfield had more holes in it than my favourite woolly jumper and our batting was so brilliant that even the Australian top order would’ve had a hard time putting on a more spectacular display (though only just).

Man of the match: The Leprechaun Clare McGoran who took not 1, but 2 for the team. One in the face which left her looking like a cabbage patch kid for a week and the other in the chest which almost gave her a third b**b.

Final score: 14-7

And thanks to your marvellous swingers:

Rob “Thommo” Thomson
Krusty, the left-handed batting wizard
Rowena, our very own Xena-esque Warrior Princess.
Goosta
Waddell, solid as a rock on debut
As was the Rude Frenchman
Power Ranger
Nikki the blonde destroyer
Scrappy Doo
Ben and his guns
Kiera, formerly known as Kieran
Fordy
The Pachenator
The Leprechaun
Edge
Mrs Edge and the bump
Simmo
The Fish
Graham, who didn’t realise that jeans probably aren’t a good idea
Whatters
The Coach
Nick the Greek
Marcus and Rennie, our wonderful team photographers

Have a good bank holiday weekend everyone!

Cheers,

The Skipper

p.s. for those don’t know who the hell I’m talking about up there

Rob Thomson = Rob “Thommo” Thomson
Kristy Adams = Krusty, the left-handed batting wizard
Rowena Tiruchelvan = Rowena, our very own Xena-esque Warrior Princess.
Goosta = Goosta
Andrew Waddell = Waddell, solid as a rock on debut
Romain Rude = the Rude Frenchman
Claire Power = Power Ranger
Nikki Shearer = Nikki the blonde destroyer
Jamie Chadwick = Scrappy Doo
Ben Staff = Ben and his guns
Kieran Delaney = Kiera, formerly known as Kieran
Andy Ford = Fordy
Claire Pache = The Pachenator
Clare McGoran = The Leprechaun
Pete Edgcome = Edge
Same Edgcome (to be) = Mrs Edge and the bump
Ian Simpson = Simmo
Marlyn Tripp = The Fish
Graham Martin = Graham, who didn’t realise that jeans probably aren’t a good idea
Andy Whatley = Whatters
Ritchie Hepburn = The Coach
Nick Pologiorgarkis = Nick the Greek
Marcus Andrade and Ian Rnn = Marcus and Rennie, our wonderful team photographers